Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What is your deepest wish?

     This morning's prompt from Jamie Ridler, while similar to one a few weeks ago about our greatest wish, made me think more deeply about both wishes.  Is there a difference between greatest and deepest wishes?  My greatest wish was for something global, something for others more than for myself.  So would my deepest wish be for something I truly wish for myself?  I find it difficult (still) to feel that I deserve good things.  It is easier for me to wish for (buy for, make for, think of) others than it is for myself.  That 'caretaker' personality quirk.

     What is my deepest wish for myself?

     I am on the edge of turning 50 ~ although my mother reminds me that I'm actually already in my 50th year... so I remind her she is in her 71st.  My health of late has been challenging from mistakes in the past (why couldn't I have worn more sunscreen?) and stress from worrying about financial constraints.  Book sales have slowed and I haven't had time to continue working on my next non-fiction book titled Rest Stops...On the Road to Something Better.

     But the truth is that in spite of the challenges in my life right now... I am happy.  I am content.  My needs are provided for.  True love finally found me.  My health issues could be worse than what they are.  We have a home that has water and power.  The car runs ~ rattles ~ but it gets us where we need to be.  I enjoy the friendship with my mother, and our renewed relationship.  While book sales are slow... they are still selling.  Maybe one day Trooper's Run or Eagle Visions will become a Lifetime Movie but if they simply continue to sell I am happy.  My dogs (my kids) are healthy and have finally overcome the insecurities from their previous abusers.

     My deepest wish for myself is that the next 50 years are as good, if not better, than my first 50 years.  That I become healthier, happier, and my needs continue to be provided for.  That my books continue to find eager readers, the car continues to rattle and we can maybe afford to get it fixed or get another.  That my friendship with my mother, and the rest of my family continues to grow.  That one day we might be able to buy a home on the water ~ whether beach, river, or lake ~ where we can enjoy watching the dogs run and dragonflies zip in the light of the setting sun.

12 comments:

  1. Cindi, you DO deserve great things! As you wish for yourself so I wish for you also.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As you wish for yourself, I also wish for you ~Trisha Trixie

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am nearing 50 also... in January. It is a blissful time, isn't it? I love the contemplative feel of your wishcasting words today...am grateful to wish with you.

    As you wish for yourself, dear Cindi, so I wish for you also!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So wonderful and to another fifty years of wonder and amazement!

    As you wish for yourself, so I truly wish for you also.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As you wish for yourself, I also wish for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am like you.. I'll be 50 in Jan.. and I hv the same dream to live near the sea.. xo
    as you wish for yourself, I wish for you too... happy Wednesday! hugs and happy holidays to you. xo bonitarose

    ReplyDelete
  7. Beautiful wish - as you wish for yourself I wish for you also. xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hooray to 50!! and my you live life, just as you wish! *hugs*As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Beautifully wished!
    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

    PS - my car rattles, too!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gorgeous photo! Beautiful, heartfelt wish..As you wish for your self, so I too wish for you as well:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gorgeous wishes! It's great to be able to really appreciate what you have. I realise that I have forgotten to do that lately. Thank you for the reminder : ).

    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I could so echo many of your feelings and wishes, your deepest desires. I turn 60 in less than a month and I so want this new decade to be healthier. Here's to both of us facing down those years with health, happiness and love!
    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by and reading my words...

All comments are moderated, so they will not appear immediately.