|Ocean of Emotion|
"It is exactly the same; but completely different."
I also thought it was karma that the photo I found on WeHeartIt was titled "Ocean of Emotion." That is exactly where I feel like I am drowning today.
These four walls that I once called home... they are exactly the same. But completely different. I believe that some of it is because I am completely different and no longer exactly the same. I'm here now. But want nothing more than to be anywhere but here. I think that there was more of me lost in Texas than what I could ever hope to find in Florida. There was just too much of me lost.
I don't know what to do either. It seems as though since my arrival, nothing has gone right. Yesterday I lost my ATM card and so now... while I have some money in the bank, I have no money. No one will take out of state checks without a hold on them. The month and a half that the Three Stooges were here alone... without any female supervision... they've turned this place into such a boys only club where not only do I feel out of place... I feel unwelcome. The place that was supposed to bring me serenity and healing... isn't.
I keep trying to rationalize that I'm still exhausted from the trip (which is a true statement) and shocked by how completely different I feel about this place.
What do I wish for my home? That I had one again...