Monday, August 5, 2013

cleaning house ...

  I have started listing things again on eBay.  Not so much because I "have to" this time around, but simply because it is time to let go of the things that have kept me holding onto the past.  Things that were part of the old me in the old life.  They just don't work for me anymore ... this new me, looking forward to a new life.
   I still love these art prints by Marjolein Bastin, but don't see a future house that they will fit into.  It's a good thing, really.  Before I bought this house here in Florida, the houses I lived in were decorated how "he" (the husband du annĂ©e ~ and if I've butchered my French, my apologies) wanted them decorated.  I had no say in decorating at all.  Ever.  In fact, when my 2nd ex completely redecorated the interior of the house in an effort to woo me back  ~ he was completely clueless that he had again decorated it to his own tastes.

  It was exactly the same, but completely different.

  When I bought this house, I decorated it how I wanted to, without consideration for what it would be like to share it with anyone.  I really didn't expect to share it with anyone, actually, because I never expected to be married again.

  Foolish me, however, fell for a guy with a kid, and like a glutton for punishment, married him.  I made concessions for my step-son by selling all of the guest bedroom furniture to buy a bunk bed and decor that he liked ... can't blame me for the red wall and Chinese ninjas.  He was only with us for summers and school breaks, but I wanted him to feel "at home."

  Yeah, that lasted about as long as an ice cream cone on a hot August afternoon.  The red wall was repainted blue, the Chinese decor and bunk bed went out the door with the man and boy.  I decorated (again) with no intention of sharing my home with anyone but the occasional overnight guest.

  Now, I'm married again and as soon as I financially can, will be moving to a home that WE choose together, and that WE decorate together.  I've learned that decorating a home isn't just how it looks ... it is how it feels, and it is a reflection of the love in the home....

  My houses before didn't reflect love.  They reflected material possessions and money.  They were decorated not for comfort, but to show off what we had and what we could buy.  I did that when I was single because I'd never understood what it meant to decorate with love.  I thought that decorating with love meant that your guests found your sofa or spare bed so comfortable that they fell asleep right away.

  I've learned that when you really decorate with love ... it doesn't matter how much you spent on that sofa or extra bed ... it doesn't matter what color the walls are, or whether or not that is a numbered and signed art print.  What matters is how much love you have in your home, and how your guests feel in your presence.

  I don't have those expensive love seat recliners anymore that I just "had to" have.  I don't have a dining room table handmade in Mexico, or even a spare bed with a Sealy pillow top mattress ~ unless you want to sleep on the $50 twin in the living room that is doubling as my sofa.

  But I have love, and I am loved, and with that, we will decorate our home ...