Thursday, August 8, 2013

condolences ...

My step-father passed away recently.

I suppose that technically he was an ex-step-father,
but because he was the father to my sisters
[technically a step and a half]
[which now sounds like a journey ...
which is sort of what life, love and families are]
I still considered him to be part of my family circle.

When I got the news, 
the first thing I did after messaging condolences and sending cards to my sisters
was to call my mom and offer her condolences.

She was surprised, but grateful.
Even though she was no longer with him,
he had been a part of her heart for many years,
and they shared a daughter
and grandsons.

She remarked that when my father died,
no one offered her condolences,
except me,
and she had felt very much left out and alone at that time.

Image Source
Yes, their marriage had ended for whatever reasons,
but a part of her still loved him,
just as a part of her still loved my step-father.

When someone has open heart surgery,
[which is what a divorce can feel like]
there is always a scar.
Sometimes that scar stays new and pink for many years.
Sometimes it fades away until it is no longer seen.

No matter how long ago the surgery,
there is still something that remains in the heart that remembers that person.

The next time you are offering condolences ...
is there someone else whose heart might also need a hug?


  1. When someone has been part of our hearts, minds, lives a piece of them always remains.

    And I love that you call your sisters 'sister' and don't add half or step to the description. My brothers are just that. Our relationship is blood - and memories which cements the missing link.

    1. Families are often a mix of this or that, and sometimes, those that aren't blood relations turn out to be the truer "family."