Wednesday, September 4, 2013

remembering our history ...

Linking with Jamie this morning ...

So much has happened in my 51 years that I'd like to forget.
After my father died, I found a folder in his house with every letter I had written to him.
From 1977 to 2005.
Those were a turbulent 28 years, 
spanning the anguish of a fifteen year old girl coping with her parent's divorce, 
a volatile stepfather and a stepmother just six years older than I was ...
to a woman dealing with her own divorces, lost dreams for children, and other struggles.
It was painful to re-read those words, 
written with a teenage anger at times, then with grief, depression and despair.
It made my grief at the loss of my father so much more painful.
He had saved my letters ... 
but never responded as I reached out to him for help or guidance.
History that was filled with painful lessons.

I burned them all.

There is so much more of my history that I am grateful to remember.
Travels to exciting and interesting countries and states.
Meeting new friends and treasuring old ones.
Laughter and dancing.
Successes.
Love.

The history that I want to remember most are the good times in my life.
Lessons learned, yes, but with the tests that came with those lessons long forgotten.
Remembering with gratitude all the joy in my history.


7 comments:

  1. What a powerful experience -- finding the letters, reading them, burning them. May you remember with gratitude, as you wish.

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  2. Wow. {{{hugs}}} As you wish for yourself, so do I wish as well.

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  3. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also... ~*~Love & Light~*~

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  4. I had difficulty this morning trying to pick out what to remember and what to not...there's a lot there that is extraordinarily painful. It appears that you handled your difficulties with grace.

    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you too!

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  5. Remembering with joy ... how powerful...As you wish for your self, so I too wish for you as well!

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  6. And I am grateful for all of your experiences - the sad, the bad AND the joyful, because they have all played their part in making you who you are...

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  7. Intensely powerful. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well. <3

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