Friday, January 24, 2014

5 minute ... visit

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I visit the past too often for comfort.  Each time I do, I find that nothing has changed and  I beat myself up time and time again for those choices I made that brought us to this point.

One of these days, I'm going to stop visiting the past, and start walking toward a future.

One of these days.

It is hard for me to do just yet.  I struggle with the truth that I made mistakes that put us here.  I did.  Others would find it so easy to point a finger at someone else, let them take the blame ... be the blame.  But the truth is that I had choices ... and I made them.  Wrong as they were, there is no one else to blame but myself.

One of these days I want to visit the past and just let it go.  Be done with it.  Turn and walk away from it with no looking back.  It isn't somewhere I want to go again.

One of these days.

STOP.

5 comments:

  1. I hear you - the past can have such a strong pull on us - a magnet power that keeps pulling us back... This is a great meditation for five minutes, thank you for sharing!

    Marissa
    http://raysofgraceandjoy.blogspot.com

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  2. Gah! So true. It's amazing how remembering moments can pull be back into that shame and regret I felt. Five, 15, 20 years out, and I still can't forgive myself these small missteps.

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  3. On that future day when you can visit the past and realise you did what you did because that's what you knew at the time, you will experience freedom. Looking back and saying "if only" is the hugest waste of time, Think about it...if you know you are making a bad choice that will haunt you for years, why would you go ahead with that choice? I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself clearly enough, but the point is, you did what you did, the best way you knew how and there's no need for guilt or recriminations. You learned and moved on.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for that, River. You are so very right. And I have learned... enough to not make the same mistake again recently.

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  4. Did I secretly write this?? Oh My......someone has finally pulled the thoughts outa my head and put it on paper!!! Something I've wanted to do forever but feared I would be caught.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you.....
    and to River as well. whew.....I need to read this over and over and over.

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