Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Rough day?

Won't you join us?
Hello You,

     Come sit and have a cry for a bit with me.  It has been a rough week for me, and I know the hard part isn't over yet.  What's that?  You too?  Wow.  Is it a full moon or something?

     I know you don't want to hear that it will get better ... believe me ... I don't want to hear it either.  Right now this pain feels so thick around me I feel like I'm wrapped in a million down comforters.

     It's hard you know.  Realizing that the life you thought you had isn't the life you are going to have anymore.  It doesn't really matter what the reasons are ... it's just one of those rude awakenings that hits you right between the eyes and you think, wow ... where did that come from?

     And you want to still be able to forgive because you still want to make it go back to the way it was before ... only in truth, that whole seventy times seven thing can sometimes break us more than we want to admit.  At some point we realize on that seventy-first time of opening our arms in love and forgiveness that we have just become someones enabler.  It is at that moment when the heart breaks and there is nothing that can be said or done to heal that moment.  It will never go back to what it was before, because ... the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result each time.  And believe me ... I've been pretty insane lately.

"At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”
Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven."
~ Matthew 18:21-22 MSG ~

     But the flip side of that is this ... that seventieth time ... or that seventy-first time ... or that seventy-second time might be the time that someone's heart heals and there is hope and knowing that it will never go back to what it was before because the insanity is finally broken.

     How do you know when that moment will come, and how do you decide when you've had enough?  I don't have the answer for that.  All I know is that God never gives us more than we can handle because He is with us always.

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it."
~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 MSG ~

     So what can I say that will make you feel better?  I guess just the things that I would want to hear myself right now.

     Each day, you will wake up to a new dawn and a new chance to make it a better day.

     Each night, you will go to sleep knowing that even if it wasn't a better day "that" day ... you will have another chance in the morning.

     Each day, you will get up and do the things that make you feel somewhat normal again, even if it is just crying into your coffee for five minutes less than you did the day before.

     Each day, there will be the opportunity to look at where you were ... where you are ... and see in the distance just a tiny bit closer, where you want to be.

     Each day there will be one thing that makes you realize that it was a good day.  It might not feel like a better day, but it will be a good day.  It could be something as simple as a cardinal in the snow, or a rainbow in the clouds, or the realization that you've gotten through an entire hour without crying ... or thinking of him and how much you miss his touch.

     Well ... maybe that last one will take a little longer.  But it will come.

     It will come.

     It will.

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