Sunday, November 22, 2015

i miss the days ...

... when ribbons were used to wrap presents ... and not proclaim support for ~ or against ~ someone.
when churches spread good news, and love, and peace, and fellowship ... and not anger, hate, or protests with threats written on signs.
i miss the days when we showed respect to our flag, to the military that fought and died for us, when we could come together as a nation to honor our heroes ... not the days of burning flags, spitting on our military, and fighting against each other until we become a nation divided.

please don't misunderstand ... i'm not a whatevertheissueistoday-phobe.

but i miss the days when people were just people
and no one had to cling to a label or a group to have an identity.
i miss the days when we were a country that was proud to call ourselves Americans and there wasn't fear of our neighbors joining subversive groups to destroy us from the inside out.

i miss the days when we were a country that was respected by others,
when we made incredible scientific discoveries, when finding a cure, or making amazing medical advancements had less to do with money, and more to do with being humane ... and human.

i miss the days when art was offered in schools, and children were encouraged to think outside the box, to sing, to act, to color, to paint, to draw, to play music, to write ... to create!
not just meet an unrealistic testing requirement that does nothing for the student, but everything for getting school funding.

i miss the days ...

Monday, July 20, 2015

do-over...

when i left florida, i really left florida.  i told some people that i was going to just disappear, and they laughed, not realizing i was serious.  they didn't think i would ~ or could ~ just walk out of their lives and not look back

florida had some good memories ... but the bad memories outweighed the good, and i just reached a point where i realized something had to change

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change
courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom to know the difference

a lot of people were surprised when i disappeared from their lives, but it wasn't personal ... or at least, it wasn't to them.  but it was to me.  a choice i had to make for change to happen.

i left a place where i had spent the biggest part of my life, and jumped feet first into the unknown.  i left everything that was familiar and came to a place ~ alone ~ where i knew no one, and no one knew me.

i got a do-over.

there are some people i think of occasionally, keep in my prayers, and hope they are well ... some people i miss talking to, and laughing with ... even some people i wish i could explain why i had to walk away, but it isn't something that is easy to explain unless you've been in the same deep hole and known that kind of darkness ... and to be honest, that is something i wouldn't wish on anyone.

life is so different now.  i'm so different.  he's so different.  there are times when he says or does something and i look at him in awe (and in love) at how much we have changed.  he tells me things no one else ever has.  ever.  things that make me feel loved more than anyone else could ever.

i once read something somewhere that the secret to a good and lasting marriage is to fall in love again every single day, over and over again, and that is what i do now.  every single day, i get to fall in love again, and it is amazing.

we got a do-over

and that is something i would wish for everyone.  the courage to change the things that you can, the wisdom to know the difference, and to fall in love again with life, every single day.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

lost ... and found ...

many weeks ago i lost an earring
one of a pair i had been wearing 24/7/365 for the past eight years
they were the last thing left from another place and time

at first, i was upset
but then i realized that sometimes losing something
is the only way something better can be found

like the words to amazing grace
i was once lost, but now i am found

when i left florida ... i felt like i was losing everything and everyone
but i realized recently, that i didn't lose anything

i let it go

i let go of the fears, the sadness, and the darkness,
i let go of the anger, the hurt, the pain, and the drama
i let go of the stress, the anxiety, and the frustration
i let go of all that was holding me back and holding me down

there were a lot of people who didn't understand
and some who never will
but letting it all go
was the only way i could move forward

i took a leap of faith

and God caught me
and He blessed me
and my life now is amazing

not because i got back what i lost
but because i got more than i imagined

because of faith
because of love
because of forgiveness

life is good
life is good
life is good


Thursday, March 5, 2015

ya know ....

things are looking UP
... winter has lasted too long when you have the following conversation ...

d:  "Is it cold outside?"
me:  "Not really.  It's 14°."