Friday, April 13, 2018

thought provoking questions

I interviewed this week for a position in a Spring(ier) part of the country. I hadn't had any coffee before I called into the panel, and was trying to wake up with a mug of hot tea which wasn't nearly the same potency. I'm sure more than once I sounded like a babbling idiot as I tried to get my thoughts together for questions.

As much as I try to prepare beforehand, there is always one or two that catch me off guard and make me think long after the interview is over.
"Tell us about a decision you made that you regretted and what you did to correct it."
Hmmm ... forgetting that there was a season called Winter in the North?

In truth, however, I try not to think about decisions I wish I'd made differently. Somedays they would simply overwhelm me if I gave them thought. Instead, I try to focus on the lesson to be learned from the decision, or what I gained because of that decision.

If I said I regretted moving (to California, away from California, to Georgia, away from Georgia back to Florida, to Texas, away from Texas back to Florida, away from Florida to the North ... you get the idea), then I would have to own the regret for people I've met, places I've seen, and pets I now own.

I don't (can't, won't) regret those.

If I said I regretted marrying whomever, then I would have to own the regret for the extended family I gained, places we went, and pets we got.

I don't (can't, won't) regret those.

Regret is a negative that will eat you up from the inside and destroy your peace of mind if you let it. It isn't something that can be changed because it is past. Over. Done with. Gone.

The only way to "correct" a decision made in error is to learn from it, move on, and not dwell on it forever. Count the blessings you gained from it. When you continue to let a regret consume your thoughts, you can't grow from it and eventually just wither away into a bitter, negative person. Why continue to give someone/something that much control over your life when obviously they were a mistake, to begin with? Sometimes the best "revenge" for regret is to stop thinking about it as a mistake and look at it as a lesson you learned from.

"Where ​do you see yourself in five years, and how do you feel this position will help you get there?"
​Hopefully somewhere warm, with green grass, brightly colored flowers, leaves on the trees, birds singing and making nests, and no mention of snow WHATSOEVER.

I want to be grounded in a house of our own, with family and friends coming to visit for the holidays or weekends. Planting gardens, chasing chickens, and sneaking yet another cat or dog in that I can explain to the hubs with a "But it followed me home, what was I supposed to do?" Maybe even getting a miniature Highland coo because we're twins after all (short, wide, with red hair that gets in our eyes).

Getting that position puts me X number of hours closer to it becoming a reality than XX number of hours. It puts me along a parallel on the globe closer to where I want to be. Closer to Spring.

Yes, I know there will be heat and humidity and bugs. There is humid heat up here too (one or two weeks in August or September). There are mosquitoes and black flies also, in fact, cluster flies that appear and swarm INSIDE the house from WHOKNOWSWHERE!

But with humidity comes softer skin, not quite as dry and cracked as it can be for 9 months a year here. If you've ever had a crack on the corner of your thumb or finger, right by the nail, that seems to go all the way down to every single nerve ending in your body, you know the pain. They appear overnight and you don't know they are there until you hit them, and trust me, you will hit them with everything, every single time you use your hands. (Buy a case in super glue before winter, it will save your sanity!)

I am hopeful for change. A change of seasons and a change of address.

8 comments:

  1. Love that you are determined to grow. We are all entitled to a paddle in the pity pool from time to time, but wallowing in it is dangerous.

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    1. True. And wallowing in the pity pool just gets muddy

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    2. It does. Though sometimes that is part of its charm. Mud, mud, glorious mud there is nothing quite like it for cooling the blood...

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  2. I love your thought process about not allowing regrets to overtake your life, there are reasons that we have been to places that we lived and the mistakes we make along the way are not to take us out, but to teach us a better way. Here's hoping that you find the address of your dreams, I see the same type of decision for us on the horizon and know in my heart, like you the new address will bring happiness.

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  3. Good luck in getting that appointment.....the crack in the thumb...have had one all winter long and it's still there.

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    Replies
    1. Put a drop of super glue on it. Works amazing!

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