Wednesday, July 1, 2020

In 60 Words ...

The challenge was started by Delores a long time ago. Words for Wednesday are now provided by a number of people and has become a moveable feast.
Essentially the aim is to encourage us to write. Each week we are given a choice of prompts, which can be words, phrases, music, or an image. What we do with them is up to us: a short story, prose, a song, a poem, or treating them with ignore. We can use some or all of the prompts.
Some of us put our creations on the post and others post on their own blog. It would be wonderful if as many people as possible to join the challenge, which includes cheering on other participants (definitely the more the merrier). If you are posting on your own blog, please let me know so that I, and the other participants, can come along and applaud.
Last month Messymimi gave some truly wonderful prompts, however, I did not participate.
This month I am providing them, but have asked that they appear on the Elephant's Child blog
This week's prompts:  In 60 words or less, write the happiest scene you can.
She walked into her new home and carefully set down the box she was carrying.  Lighting vanilla and lavender-scented candles to give the room a hygge warmth and glow, she settled herself into an oversized sofa chair.  She carefully opened the box.  Excited to be free, two pug puppies and two tuxedo kittens tumbled onto her lap. She laughed.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

"Well, I taught my boys..."

My thoughts the last few days have gone back to the conversation I had with my MIL on Tuesday evening.

Of course, she was defending her son and that's understandable.  She taught her boys not to hit women, and that if they got that angry, they needed to walk away.  But it seems that was the only thing she taught them.

She didn't teach them to respect women and especially, respect their wives (both of her boys have cheated on their wives when they were married, and I know that at least one of them didn't accept "no" as a final answer).

She didn't teach them to speak with love (to not curse at, to not threaten, to not constantly lie to).

She didn't teach them to avoid drugs (which considering the fact that at one time she herself grew and sold marijuana illegally to support her family kinda explains why all of her kids have used and abused drugs).

She didn't teach them to drink in moderation, or not at all (and they all have had issues with alcohol abuse).

There is more to raising a man than just making sure he doesn't hit a woman.

There are more ways to abuse someone than physically.  Ways that leave even larger scars and deeper bruises.  Verbal.  Emotional. Psychological. Sexual.

In her mind, she raised her boys "right" by just teaching them not to hit women.  It explains why David feels that he has done nothing "wrong."  She also mentioned that when David was born, his father went to a motel for a week with another woman.  That he often disappeared for weekends with other women.

She didn't understand why I had a problem with his disappearing acts or his cheating.  She didn't understand why I had a problem with his drinking and anger when the liquor took over his mind... because he was just like his father.

She didn't understand why I had a problem with how he continued to drink and drive even after losing his license for six months for it, or why I called the police when he broke into the house to scare and intimidate me while I was working, or why I didn't like him stealing my bank card to go spend hundreds at a bar. 

She said she understood, but those were just empty words because, in her mind and heart, David's behavior was acceptable and he was a "good man."   Those were all things that were more acceptable than if he had actually hit me because she had "taught him" not to do "that."  Because that was their way of life when he was growing up, and a way of life that continues to this day in his nieces and nephews.

Raising a man is setting healthy examples of love, respect, communication, responsibility, and family.

Anything less is not raising a man, but raising a bully, an abuser, a terrorist, and a narcissist.  David is who he is because that is who she raised.