Friday, December 30, 2011

Finally Friday... celebrate smart

Celebrate safely.
Celebrate smart this weekend.  Be safe.  Have a designated driver or stay home.  Better yet... go to bed early and get to church on Sunday.  They say that what you do on New Year's Day is what you will be doing all year.  Be alive.  Be happy.  Be with the ones you love.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Thursday Travels.... Poolewe, Scotland

     When I was (much much) younger, all I knew about Scotland was that the Bay City Rollers came from there.  Many years later ~ long after I had gotten over my teen lust for men in kilts and tartans (Well... I never outgrew the one for Sean Connery) ~ I went to visit my Mum and Sis in Poolewe, Scotland. 

     A portion of our trip was on a small commuter plane from Glasgow to Inverness that was entertaining to say the least... there was a group of drunken 'football' fans on the plane whose team had won and they sang team and school songs the entire flight.  Fortunately, the flight was just long enough for us to enjoy their celebration, but not so long that we became annoyed.  In Inverness we took a train to Gairloch where Mum met us at the station.  I hadn't seen her in twelve years and I felt like a child again.

     It was then that I truly fell in love with Scotland.   Water seemed to flow from the rocks, and while it was late October~early November it was bitter cold with no snow to show for it.  The hills were covered with a thick green grass, and rocks covered with moss.

     Sheep and the occasional cow freely roamed the small town on the northwest coast of Scotland.  It was a year before I stopped seeing bits of  sheep 'pebbles' on my shoes.

     There was just one radio station, three television stations and twice a year they all went down at the same time for 24 hours of maintenance.  There were no video rental stores, no movie theaters, and one or two pubs that closed at 10pm.

     Mum's house, just across a bridge on the outskirts of town, was within walking distance of the pub she ran.  Her electricity was paid for on a daily basis by putting coins in a machine in the back of the house.  She paid  enough most days to just keep the small refrigerator under the kitchen counter running, and maybe a few lights during the day.

      Almost all the roads were one lane... so if you rounded a curve on the hills and came face to face with a car going in the other direction, one of you would need to back up until there was room on the shoulder to pull over enough to let the other pass.  I think that I kept my eyes closed every time we took Mum's car somewhere.... okay, so some of those times I was sleeping because I never did get over my jet lag and hypothermia was setting in, but there were times when I was terrified because Mum drove like the devil was after us.

     We rode in the mail van to Gairloch (stopping to deliver mail along the way) where we caught the train into Inverness to stay a night in a bed and breakfast.  Another day we drove to Aviemore to spend a night with one of Mum's friends in a 100 year old croft house that had thick sod walls and roof.  It was the warmest I had been the entire trip, sleeping in a room heated by a tiny coal heater under piles of down comforters.  I didn't want to leave that bed.

     Now... remembering the beauty of the country, the friendliness of the locals, and the incredible history in every stone and building... I'd love to go back one day.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Anonymous Encouragers...

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ~

     Mom sent me a Christmas box with lots of goodies in it... recipes... scented soap... some awesome cartoons to cheer me... and a newsletter called Blessings by Integrity Notes.

     The cover article was on Anonymous Encouragers and it was... well... encouraging!  There was also a quote in the newsletter that really hit home for me this past week.

"Things fall apart so that other things can fall together."
~ Anonymous ~

     I feel like I've been in the falling apart stage for so long that I don't know if all my pieces will fit together anymore.  But something happened recently at work which made me realize that maybe all the pieces aren't supposed to fit together again without a little help from my friends.

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!"
~ Psalm 27:13-14 ~


Sunday, December 25, 2011


     I went to a new church this morning for Christmas Day services.  As always, it was right where I needed to be.

     Pastor Joe Rich spoke on "When God Messes Up Your Plans" and opened with "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." ~ Proverbs 19:21

     He said that we often have Attention Deficit Disorder when God speaks to us because we've already made our plans, we've already decided what we want in life.  The truth, however, is that it is not God who is messing up OUR plans, it is US who messes up His plans for us.  God sees the bigger picture of what He wants for us.  We don't get in His way... we get in our way.

     "'I  know what I am planning for you,' says the Lord, 'I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you.  I will give you hope and a good future.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

     Even when we decide to change God's Plan A for us and go with Plan B... or C... or F... or P... God will always take our messes and turn them into good to fulfill His purpose for us.  That is His promise to us and it has always been His plan for us.

     When our lives become difficult, when we feel tired, worried, and scared... when we can't imagine that this is part of God's plans for us, we look for the easy way out... the Plan E.  As soon as we give up our faith and our trust in Him... that is when we mess up His plan for us.

     His plan is not for us to hurt, but for us to become stronger in Him.  To build our character, our values, our beliefs in something more than just material things and "instant gratification."

     He wants us to have a relationship with Him, not just a 'Simon Says' religion that you only play on Sundays and holidays.  He wants us to find the purpose that He has created us for, our talents and skills that will define who we are for Him.

     Our rewards when we do that are not things we can hold and experience now.  Our reward for our faith, love, and trust in Him is yet to be seen.

     "No one has ever seen, heard, or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love him."  ~ I Corinthians 2:9

     As the year comes to an end, whether it was good, bad or ugly, these three things remain truths that you can count on...
  1. No matter what you did or didn't do in 2011, God still has a personal plan for you and your life.  He still has faith in you, still loves you, still reaches out to you.
  2. He will never leave you.  He will never turn his back on you, slam the door in your face, or leave you stranded.  His love for you is everlasting.
  3. When you get to know God ~ when you have a personal one-to-one relationship with Him, when you seek Him out and open your heart to Him ~ when you discover the purpose He has for you and start living that purpose in your life.... you will be richer than your wildest dreams.  Because the real riches are not of gold or silver, big fancy houses, or cars that turn on at the sound of your voice... true wealth is the peace that you will find in yourself, in your heart, and in all of your relationships.
     Turn your A.D.D. into "A Daily Devotion" of your life to God.  Seek Him.  Find Him.  Know Him.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Dear Santa...

S. C.

     The year my father was in Vietnam was the year I first realized that there was no Santa Claus.  I do have to give Mom credit for trying to make the effort to keep my belief alive... but in the end it was what gave it away.

     Mom had cut boot prints out of white paper and left them on the floor from the fireplace to our bedroom doors where our stockings hung on the handles, and back and forth to the Christmas tree.

     On the gift tags for the presents Santa left under the tree, she had neatly printed "To Cindi, From S.C."

     The giveaway was that at the time, we lived in Scottsdale, Arizona.  Where there was no snow on the ground at Christmas.  So while the white paper boot prints were creative... they didn't quite fool my eleven year old mind.

     Santa's initials were the other giveaway.  They just happened to be the same as my Mom's.  S. C.  could have been Santa Claus but the handwriting looked just like Sib Clarke's.

     The Santa of my childhood disappeared that year, but I never stopped believing in the magic of Christmas.  It is more than just a time of year for getting ugly homemade sweaters, rock hard fruitcake, and perfume that makes the dog want to roll on you.

     The true meaning of Christmas is the gift we were given... a child born to save us from ourselves...

21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” 
~ Matthew 1:21 ~

Friday, December 23, 2011


Find someone to snuggle with and stay warm this weekend.

(photos found on

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Thursday travels... Mojave Desert

Photo by Tim Laman (National Geographic)
     Yucca brevifolia.

     That is the Latin name for the Joshua Tree, seen here in a photo from the Mojave Desert.  It is the only term I remember from my 'Natural History of the Antelope Valley' class that I took in the late 80's.  It stuck with me because it sounded like you were calling someone a name... much like the Robin Williams character did in his movie 'Hook' ~ "You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!"

     Later when I began reading the Harry Potter book series, it sounded like a spell being cast with a flick of the twig I used for a wand while reading to my nephews.  "Wingardium Leviosa!"

     When I first saw the Joshua Tree as I drove from LAX airport to Lancaster, California in September 1986, I thought it looked like some sort of alien tree.  It did nothing to reassure me that my move from Florida was going to be pleasant.  We crossed the San Andreas Fault that ran through the San Bernardino mountains.  It divides the Los Angeles valleys and West Coast, from Palmdale and the Antelope Valley High Desert.  All I could see was flat, brown, dry dust, tumbleweeds, and these ugly trees.

     Fourteen years later, in November 2000, I left the same way I had arrived... crossing the San Andreas Fault line without even looking back.  I had come to appreciate the diversity of the desert, the Joshua Tree, tumbleweeds, and the unique beauty of the Antelope Valley.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." 
~ Anaïs Nin ~


Sunday, December 18, 2011


     It is the third Sunday of Advent and I love this easy to make calendar that I found online.  I had forgotten about the calendar similar to this that I bought in Germany several years ago.  It has numbered gold and white angels glued to the front of the clothespins that hang along a string. 

     I really like this idea of tiny gifts hanging from the pins!  What a sweet idea!  Tiny bags of candy, love notes, or mini ornaments to hang on the tree.


     I remember as a child we had an advent wreath with candles that we would light each Sunday before Christmas.  I have one now,  but again, it is something put away in a box somewhere that I cannot find since we moved here a year ago.

     I'm looking forward to a time when there are no unpacked boxes ... and our home is filled with family for the holidays.  It has been far too long since I have spent Christmas with extended family in a home filled with laughter, love, and lights....

Thursday, December 15, 2011

You might be a redneck if...

... you use Tree Frogs for Christmas Lights...
      I just couldn't resist.  I found this picture on National Geographic:

August 17, 2009

Cuban Tree Frog, Florida

Photograph by James Snyder
This Month in Photo of the Day: Animals
This is a Cuban tree frog on a tree in my backyard in southern Florida. How and why he ate this light is a mystery. It should be noted that at the time I was taking this photo, I thought this frog was dead, having cooked himself from the inside. I'm happy to say I was wrong. After a few shots he adjusted his position. So after I was finished shooting him, I pulled the light out of his mouth and he was fine. Actually, I might be crazy but I don't think he was very happy when I took his light away.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What is your deepest wish?

     This morning's prompt from Jamie Ridler, while similar to one a few weeks ago about our greatest wish, made me think more deeply about both wishes.  Is there a difference between greatest and deepest wishes?  My greatest wish was for something global, something for others more than for myself.  So would my deepest wish be for something I truly wish for myself?  I find it difficult (still) to feel that I deserve good things.  It is easier for me to wish for (buy for, make for, think of) others than it is for myself.  That 'caretaker' personality quirk.

     What is my deepest wish for myself?

     I am on the edge of turning 50 ~ although my mother reminds me that I'm actually already in my 50th year... so I remind her she is in her 71st.  My health of late has been challenging from mistakes in the past (why couldn't I have worn more sunscreen?) and stress from worrying about financial constraints.  Book sales have slowed and I haven't had time to continue working on my next non-fiction book titled Rest Stops...On the Road to Something Better.

     But the truth is that in spite of the challenges in my life right now... I am happy.  I am content.  My needs are provided for.  True love finally found me.  My health issues could be worse than what they are.  We have a home that has water and power.  The car runs ~ rattles ~ but it gets us where we need to be.  I enjoy the friendship with my mother, and our renewed relationship.  While book sales are slow... they are still selling.  Maybe one day Trooper's Run or Eagle Visions will become a Lifetime Movie but if they simply continue to sell I am happy.  My dogs (my kids) are healthy and have finally overcome the insecurities from their previous abusers.

     My deepest wish for myself is that the next 50 years are as good, if not better, than my first 50 years.  That I become healthier, happier, and my needs continue to be provided for.  That my books continue to find eager readers, the car continues to rattle and we can maybe afford to get it fixed or get another.  That my friendship with my mother, and the rest of my family continues to grow.  That one day we might be able to buy a home on the water ~ whether beach, river, or lake ~ where we can enjoy watching the dogs run and dragonflies zip in the light of the setting sun.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Luke 13:13

"13 Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God."

     The healing touch of hands on us.  Too often we forget how much we need to feel the touch of another.  Whether it is a hug, a pat on the arm, or holding hands to comfort, touch is one of the strongest connections we have with one another.  It says so much at times when we have no words to offer.

     A study once claimed that you need at least eight hugs a day for optimum health, and eleven to grow.  Other studies have shown that being deprived of touch can significantly impact the emotional and psychological development of children, and the health of the elderly.

“Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.”
~ Mother Teresa ~

     We may not have the power to make the blind see, or the crippled walk with our touch... but we can heal their hearts... heal their souls when we take the time to reach out and touch someone with a comforting hug, a hand held, or a gentle rub on their back that simply lets them know... you are there.  They are not alone.  None of us are ever alone...

29 The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone....” 
~ John 8:29 ~

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Sleep in Saturday...

     I was out sick for three days of work this week.  Strep throat.  You'd think that after sleeping most of 48 hours over those three days I'd be wide awake.... Not!  At work yesterday I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and my brain was so fuzzy feeling that it took me several tries to remember all my passwords.  I should have asked my Secret Santa for chocolate covered coffee beans instead of peanut M&Ms.

     Needless to say, the weekend agenda will be following the example that the dogs set... sleeping late... taking naps... and going to bed early.  And because I have Monday off ... make that a three-day weekend to get well.

     It is amazing how a sore throat or sinus infection can make your entire body feel like it has been bulldozed.  Two days of fever requires almost a week of recuperating.  Unfortunately, the boss doesn't agree.

     One of these days, I'm going to have a job I can do from home, wearing my fuzzy pajamas, robe and slippers, curled up on the bed with the dogs snoring around me.  On days when I have web meetings, I can dress from the waist up and sit at my desk in my home office where I will look awake and the snore of my pug, Henry, won't be so easily picked up by the microphone.

     I think I shall begin practicing for that this weekend... a new book has been spinning around my brain and I need to get it out...

Friday, December 9, 2011

Finally Friday... holiday baking...

     I'm thinking of dusting off the Springerle roller that I bought on my Christmas trip in 2007 and cookie cutters this weekend.  It has been many years since I've dug out my grandmother's recipes for Lebkuchen, Pfeffernusse, and Springerle cookies.




     But I've found some pictures of cute sugar cookies that look like they would be more fun to make.

     I wish my step-daughter, nieces and nephews were closer.  We would have a blast making these!

     Christmas is about giving... sharing... believing... laughter... love... and sometimes finding it all in the warmth of a kitchen that smells like fresh baked cookies!

     I'm hungry!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

What do you wish to be celebrating?

     Today's prompt from Jamie Ridler Studios comes with a "Happy Birthday to you!" wish.  It also falls on Pearl Harbor Day... which brings to mind so many things...

     I wish to celebrate the end of wars, and the beginnings of peace.

     I wish to celebrate the lives of those lost, those found, and those alive.

     I wish to celebrate health, love, family, friends... and of course, my dogs.

     I wish to celebrate the bad as well as the good... because without those moments in life when things seem the darkest, I wouldn't recognize the moments that are the brightest.

     I wish to celebrate me... for surviving, thriving, and finally becoming someone I like, love, and respect.

     I wish to celebrate you... for all that you are to those in your life... for all that you are to you... and for all that you will be to those you haven't yet met... for surviving... thriving... and learning to like, love and respect yourself.

     I wish to celebrate life's moments... good and bad.

We never walk alone...


10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
~ Ecclesiastes 4:10-12 ~

       When I first read this passage, I thought about all the difficult times in my life when I hit bottom so hard that it made my nose bleed.  I thought of those who had helped to lift me up, keep me warm, and defend me.  I realized that while some of those people came and went in my life, there has always been that third strand of cord that has been a constant.

     God has always been with me.  He has carried me when I thought I was walking alone, and when I was one of two... He was the cord that kept us tied together.

     It has never been God who has left us on the ground, alone, cold, and defenseless.  He is always with us, whether we believe or not.  He holds out His hand to lift us out of our despair, He wraps His arms around us to keep us warm, and it was His love for us that sent us His son to defend us against the evil that would have destroyed us.

     We are the ones who occasionally turn our backs on him, leaving His word on the ground, ignoring His outstretched hand, throwing back a cold shoulder, and leaving the armor His sacrifice made for us behind.  We are the arrogant ones who think we don't need Him, that we can walk alone through all that Satan throws at us.  We become self-righteous and indignant when someone tries to share their faith with us.  We shout out in anger at Him, "Why me?" and He waits silently and patiently until we realize... why not me?

     His love for us is always there, unconditional, patient, faithful, and forgiving.  All He ever asks of us is that we believe in Him as much as He believes in us.  That we reach up when we are down, and that we lift up those around us in His name.  That we wrap His warm assurance around us, and that we share that warmth with others in His name.  That we wear His armor, defend His name, and protect in prayer others in His name.

     He is the third strand that makes us whole, whether we are alone, or with another.  He is The One who does not break, The One who fixes us when we are broken.

     He is.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A slip of the tongue...

     The other day I overheard someone say "I appreciate you," when a short order cook in the little dining hall at work brought out his burger.

     "I appreciate you."  Not "I appreciate it," but "I appreciate you."

     It made me think about what a difference changing that one little word can mean to someone.  All too often we take for granted those in the service industry.  Waiters, waitresses, cooks, bartenders, janitorial services... those seemingly invisible people whose job it is to take care of our needs.  Sure, we might tip well at a restaurant if the service had been over the top excellent... or not tip at all if it had been bad.  But tips are sometimes just what goes with the job.

     Appreciation, however, is something personal.  Individual.  Direct.  Not something that might have to be shared with the cooks, bartenders or other wait staff.

     One little word that might change someones outlook.  One little word that might change someones attitude. 

     Try it out for size this month when all the hustle, bustle and commercialism of the season often wears on people.  Crowds are larger, weather harder, and everyone in a service job is overworked, overstressed, and under appreciated.

"The deepest principal in human nature, is the craving to be appreciated."
~ William James ~

"Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom"
~ Theodore Isaac Rubin ~

"I appreciate you."

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Keeping an eye out for you...

     It was seven years ago today that I had my first of many eye surgeries to repair a retinal tear in my right eye.  I thought it would be a good time for an 'informational' post since often issues with our eyes happen so gradually that we don't realize we are having issues until it is too late.

Image source
      Cataracts... glaucoma... macular degeneration... retinal tears... the list goes on.  A web site I found for Eye Health and Blindness News provides a great resource for current information on how to care for your eyes. 

     I also can't stress enough the importance of yearly eye exams, even if you don't need or wear glasses or contact lenses.

     Certain medicines can have side effects that affect your eyes.  Prednisone can cause cataracts in some people (like me) and changes in your vision.

     If you are extremely nearsighted (again like me) you may be at a higher risk for a retinal tear.  I had been told to watch for the symptoms since I was a child.  When I saw the flashes of light (thought someone was playing with the lights in the hall at first) and the black dots (I thought they were ants on my desk), I knew to call the eye doctor for an emergency visit.

     While my surgeries to repair the tear went well, I believe that because I delayed being seen by a retina specialist ~ going instead to the emergency room at the hospital when 50% of my vision disappeared ~ I lost vision in my eye that never returned.

     Close your right eye for a few minutes at different times of the day or night and while doing different tasks (please not while driving!).  Welcome to my world.

     Your eyes are a precious gift... take care of them.

22 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”
 23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24 For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.” 
~ Luke 10:22-24 ~

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thursday travels... Christmas in Germany

Heidelberg, Germany

      Castles are magical, whether they are in Germany, Scotland, or Disneyland.

     Christmas 2007 I took my first boat cruise on the Rhine River.  It had been a rough year with the death of my father, and my divorce the previous year.  The last thing I wanted to do was spend Christmas alone at home.

     So off I flew to Germany, where Christmas was spent with 49 other passengers on our small boat.  The only snow we had on the cruise was in Heidelberg.  But the trip was healing.  Reliving memories of some of the places I had visited as a child, especially a trip to the Gutenberg Museum in Mainz where I was able to purchase the smallest bible in the world... a souvenir that I once had, but had lost over the years after we returned.

     One of my favorite childhood Christmas memories of Germany was Saint Nicholas' Eve (Dec. 5) ... when we would put our shoes outside our bedroom door to be filled with candy and toys if we'd been good... or coal and switches if we'd been bad.  Over the years it became the time when we would also find our annual Christmas tree decoration.

     Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, filled with magic and love.  A time when we rejoice in the 'reason for the season' and delight in the angels that appear... those that visit us, and those we become for others.

     Find your magic this Christmas...

Monday, November 28, 2011

Nobody nose...

...the trouble I's seen... nobody nose at all...
     Mom has today off work and bcuz Trooper wrote a blog she said I could blog today.  Normally I'd be sleepin' lates with her, 'specially since its colds outside, but I wants to say somethin' imsportant.

     Peoples sometimes sees me and laughs at how I looks and that hurts my feelings.  You shouldn't laughs at someone.  Laughs with them, but not at them.  I nose my face looks like I run into a wall, and I don't got no neck, and sometimes if you gets too close to my face when I is excited I can sneeze chunks on you, but I can't help it.

     Everybodys different.  But that don't mean we should laugh at somebody who looks different than us.  It is those differences that makes us each special.  Unique.  One of a kind.  We are all works of art, just maybe not hanging up on someone's wall, but maybe in someone's hearts.  And whether or not you believe in God, we are all created for a special purpose.

     Pugs purpose is to make people smile.  To make them laugh with us.  To snuggle up to them on cold nights and keeps them warm.  To cheer them ups.  Sometimes even give them another reason to wash theys faces.  Pugs used to be palace guards dogs in China so we was once really important.  We still can guard, but we likes it better if you gets a big dog to do the really rough stuff.  But we can bark (and try nots to fart at the same time) when we see something strange.  And even if we does farts when we barks, it helps to scare off the strangers because they thinks it was them that smells so bad and they don't want no body to knows they is there by they smell.

     So next times you sees someone that you think looks funny... just remember this... you might look funny to someone too.  Does you want people to laughs at you?

Friday, November 25, 2011


     I get an email on week days from Mike Dooley and his Thoughts Become Things webpage.  They are his "Notes from the Universe."

     They are often so "spot on" with where I am in my life that day, it is eerie, and I've come to believe that God often uses those messages to remind me of things.  Specifically one that I received last Friday which included this sentence.... "There's nothing challenging that has ever happened in your life, that one day you won't look back on with deep gratitude."

      That one was so powerful to me, that it is worth repeating...


     Think about it...


Finally Black Friday...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

And we call ourselves humane?

     Last year I read (my bad) some of the comments readers had left for my book "My Best Friends Have Hairy Legs" on  I was crushed by how mean some of them were and very nearly took all of my books off the market.  But then I realized that of the 22,000 people who took advantage when it was offered for free, less than 10 of them actually had anything hateful to say.  And those that did, really didn't matter because they just didn't "get it."

     The purpose of the book wasn't to reveal all the gory details of abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, and yes, sexual) I've endured from other people.  If I had spent much time on those people, and times in my life, it would have been giving them more of me than they deserved to have... and they had already had enough of my thoughts and time. 

     So for those who were disappointed because they didn't feel I had been abused enough... I only hope and pray that you never have to experience any of the things that I chose not to share.

     I wrote the book to talk about surviving.  To talk about forgiving.  To talk about healing.  I wrote to purge myself of the burden of carrying those memories around with me, and letting them continue to control and manipulate me even though the people themselves were no longer in my life.  I didn't write to entertain someone.  I didn't write to seek someone's approval.  I wrote because I knew that I was not the only person to ever endure those things, and if just one person found hope in my story, then baring my soul was worth it.

     There was also a comment from a veterinarian who felt that I hadn't done enough (or rather spent enough money) to save my pug, Tink.  That comment probably angered me more than anything and I hope that her patients and their people have sense to find a new vet who is compassionate enough to realize that sometimes it isn't about spending more money, it is about quality of life.

     Tink was in terrible pain her entire life, enduring two surgeries on her bladder to remove stones within a year.  After the second surgery and because it took so long for her to recover from it, I made the decision to find an alternative that was going to be more humane than just getting her cut open once or twice a year.  Because her bladder stones (some the size of my pinky nail) were being caused by her liver not functioning due to shunts, I researched (and spent money) on foods for her that had less 'fillers' and were naturally made.  The last six months of her life, I spent almost $3,000 trying to make her comfortable since there was no 'cure' for her condition.  I found a holistic vet who tried aqua pressure - similar to acupuncture but with B-12 shots - Chinese herbal medicines because her liver could not detoxify regular medicines, dehydrated natural foods, flower essences, and massage.

     Ultimately though, I made a humane decision to end her suffering because I could see the pain in her face and knew that trying to keep her alive was selfish and cruel.  It wasn't about not having enough money to 'fix' her.  It was about realizing that sometimes we just need to be grateful for the time that we've had, to cherish the memories, and to let them go.

     Sometimes, it is the quality of life that is most important... not the quantity.  Tink had six years more than she might have otherwise had, and they were good years.  I have no regrets for my choices except that perhaps it would have been easier ON HER if I had done it sooner.  But I don't regret the money or time I spent trying to ease her pain. 

     So for those 'animal lovers' who think that my decisions to have animal companions that I adored put down when their pain became too great was selfish and based on finances... I only hope and pray that one day if you are suffering and in pain because of health issues, that you might also have the choice to choose quality over quantity.

And this is what we think of your negative comments...

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Birds....

     Texas has a large population of Great-tailed Grackles.  When I say that it is a "large" population, I really mean LARGE.  Like something from Alfred Hitchcock's movie, The Birds.
     Leaving the grocery store the other night, there must have been millions of them lining all three lines on the light and phone poles for at least three blocks.  They were on the tops of houses, filling the trees, and covering the grass between streets and sidewalks.

     In one sense it was just incredible to see them.  Landing on the power lines and each shuffling down so that they were all the exact same distance from each other.  Listening to their chatter and calls, we could hear them even with the windows rolled up, and over the horrible noise the car is currently making because it needs new bearings in the power steering pulley.

    But then I think of Hitchcock... and his birds... and realize how Creepy it really is, and we hurry home, looking over our shoulders to be sure we aren't being followed.

     I wonder if Hitchcock had been in Texas when he wrote the script...

Shelter in a storm...

Image source
"20 The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, 21 with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the wild animals, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds— 22 Your Majesty, you are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth."
~Daniel 4:20-22 NIV~

      Somewhere on my Florida townhouse was the hobo symbol for "kind hearted woman lives here." Only those with four legs seemed to see it, so it must have been low on a wall or door. I don't have any other way to explain the animals that wandered up to my door while I lived there.
     I'd been watching reports about the approaching Hurricane Ivan a few years ago, my dogs sitting on the sofa with me. The rising wind was making all of us nervous.  I got up to go the front door to see the wind on an old palm tree that leaned over my driveway, I was worried it might fall.
     Outside my door stood a full grown silver wolf.  He was gaunt - I could see his ribs from where I stood, panting in a semi-panic and covered with large pieces of cactus. I'd never seen him before.
     I slowly opened the door and stepped out. He took a few steps towards me and it was obvious he was in pain. I spoke to him in a low voice and told him I would bring him some food and water. When I went back into the house, he moved closer to the door, under the overhang and out of the wind. I set the bowls down, he quickly drank some of the water, and picked at the food. I could tell he was hungry, but could also see cactus spines around his mouth.
     I got a pair of heavy work gloves, a bucket, and a pair of needle nosed pliers. Gently I put my hand on him and started taking the cacti off, and putting them in the bucket. He stood patiently while I worked, listening to me talk and letting me work around his ears and face, running my gloved hand carefully over his thin frame to see if I had missed any. As I pulled the first spine from between his toes I saw him flinch and he pulled his paw back. Silently I said a prayer, and hoped that when I raised my eyes I wouldn't be looking at an angry set of teeth.
     Instead, he stepped back and walked around the corner of the house. He finally came back and put his paw on my knee.  I was amazed. He let me work on all four paws, but whenever I pulled one that seemed to hurt, he would again walk around the corner for a few minutes and then come back. 
     He spent the night in the garage, waiting out the storm with the rest of us. When the weather cleared the next day and life and business resumed, I took him to my vet to get him checked out and the few remaining spines removed from his mouth.
     Someone had spent a great deal of time with him, he was very well trained, but where they were now, or where he had come from I would never know. The vet checked for a micro-chip, but he didn't have any.  A blood draw came back positive for heartworms.
     I called a co-worker who had lost a husky two months prior.  He took one look at him and said he would take him. I explained to him about the heartworms, but he didn't care. The wolf would need to put on 20 pounds before he could be treated, but the vet was optimistic about his recovery.  "Eli" now had a home and a new name.
     That was many years ago. Eli survived the heartworm treatment - despite being an escape artist and not staying "quiet" as recommended.
     I found a wooden plaque not too long ago in a catalog of the cat sign that hobos used to designate a "kind hearted woman." It now hangs just inside my front door, too high for animals to see it, but I don't think that matters.
     They know.

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Image source
"The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings."
~ James Matthew Barrie ~

     A video taken in Ireland by two young women has become a viral sensation on the Internet.  The flock of what must be millions of starlings that seem to dance a synchronized and choreographed ballet is mesmerizing to watch.  To have seen it live must have just been breath-taking.

     I've seen smaller flocks in Florida, that danced at sunset before settling into trees to roost for the night.  At each pass of the trees, the flock would become smaller and smaller as birds broke out of the dance to rest.

     Scientists say that the reasons the starlings fly this way is a matter of survival.  There is strength in numbers.  Birds of prey, such as hawks and peregrines hunt starlings, and by flying together "as one" they are harder to hunt.

     In this photo, one of a series taken by photographer, Richard Barnes, the flock looks almost like the hand of God reaching from the sky.

     Perhaps it is to His music that their ballet is danced...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Out of the mouth of... dogs?

     When Mom said she was thinking about writing a blog about "essential dog travel supplies" I knew I was going to have to write it myself. Yeah, she's got a really great road trip checklist for me and Henry, but I knew that it would be better if you heard it from me.

     First let me tell you about this great pet travel bag she's got - it carries everything! She's got copies of our latest shot records, and pictures of us as well as our microchip numbers in case we get lost while we're checking out new sights and smells. Not that she lets us off the leash much when we travel, but you never know when someone might accidentally open a door.

     She always carries a squeaky toy for Henry - that keeps him busy when he gets bored, but the squeaker also grabs his attention if he wanders off.  She packs some of our favorite treats to reward us... and just 'cause she loves us! She brings enough of our regular food to get us through the whole trip so that our stomachs don't have to deal with something unfamiliar. If we start running low on food because we've just been having so much fun and stay longer, it gives her time to find some of our regular stuff at a store.

     We've also got these great pop-up pet travel kennels. It's just like having our own tents! Me, I'm kinda a big guy, ya know? So while those hard sided pet travel kennels might be good for some small dogs like Henry, a real manly man dog like me just won't fit in one of those. The pop-up one that she got me fits perfect in the back of her SUV, or slides into an outside pocket of her suitcase so it can go anywhere we go. Throw my favorite blanket in it, maybe steal one of the extra pillows off the hotel bed, and I'm sleepin' like a baby!

     Even when we're riding in the car she has our comfort and safety in mind. Normally I love calling shotgun when we hit the road for some short trips to the park or vet. But for serious road trips, she sets us up in the back seat with our own harnesses that buckle into the seat belt. We've still got room to move around and lay down to nap, but we're safely secured so we won't go flying if some bozo who is texting and driving hits us. We've got a car blanket, favorite old toys to remind us of home, and a no-spill water dish for ice cubes that we can lick if we get thirsty.  Henry just loves to sing along with the radio ... "Who let the dogs out? Woof! Woof! Woof!"

     Yeah, cats just don't know what they're missing when they turn down a chance to travel, but hey, I'm not going to tell them. I'll just let them think that travelin' is for the dogs!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thursday Travels... to the beach...

Panama City Beach, Florida

“The three great elemental sounds in nature are the sound of rain, the sound of wind in a primeval wood, and the sound of outer ocean on a beach”
~ Henry Beston ~

Silently the waves push through
Eternity.  Churning up memories
And dreams long forgotten.
~ Cindi ~ 1979

Monday, November 14, 2011

Finding happiness...

     Happiness, comes with being satisfied with what we have and not coveting things we do not have. Whether this is in our households; our businesses or places of work; or with our family and friends, if we yearn for things we do not or cannot have then it will be difficult for us to find happiness.

    Whenever I have been happy with my life, my job, or family and friends, things have always just seemed to get better. Bigger. More. In considering why this would be so, I realized that when I stopped being dissatisfied with what I had and stopped yearning for something else, it was as if the wall of negativity I was creating in my thoughts of dissatisfaction suddenly crumbled.

     Practice this experiment one day. When you wake up in the morning decide that you are going to have a bad day. No matter what good things you might encounter, decide upon awakening that you aren't going to be happy. You refuse to smile or laugh, and will wear a frown or angry scowl all day. You will carry a cloud over you all day long and will refuse to say anything nice or positive to anyone you encounter. If someone says "Good Morning!" to you, your response will be "Oh yeah? What's so good about it?"

     Keep track that day of everything that goes wrong that isn't directly caused by you. Late trains, late flights, flat tires, broken elevators. A rainy day that gets you splashed all day by cars passing in puddles. A torn jacket, broken heel, or hole in your shoe. Late reports, lost papers, an impossible deadline. Sour cream at the coffee maker. Moldy cheese in your sandwich. The list could go on and on.

     Now consider that all these things, all this negativity, has been attracted to you because of your attitude alone. As if it were a magnet.

I just LOVE this face!

     The next day reverse the experiment. When you wake up in the morning decide that you are going to have an incredibly awesome day, the best day ever no matter what bad things you might encounter. You will smile and laugh at everything, carry a bright sun over you, and make rainbows out of anyone's rain cloud. When that negative person responds to your "Good Morning!" greeting with an ugly "Oh yeah?" tell them that it is a GREAT morning any time you wake up on this side of the dirt!

     Now keep track of all the good things that happen, and all the good things that happen because of an attempted negativity. A late arrival might have kept you from being in the accident that happened right when you would have been there if you had been on time. Climbing the stairs because of a broken elevator just gave you ten less minutes on the treadmill tonight. Torn jacket, broken heel, hole in your shoe? A great excuse to stop and buy that jacket or pair of shoes you saw on sale! Late report or lost papers? Time to review them and catch the mistake that would have embarrassed you or the company. Impossible deadline? An opportunity to prove to your boss that you are up to the challenge and score points for dependability that will help on your next promotion.

     At the end of the day when you are still wearing that smile on your face, look back and consider which was the better day and how many good things were attracted to you because you refused to let the negativity win. You repelled it instead of attracting it.

     You can take this lesson, this experiment, and use it anywhere in your life. Once you see how happiness attracts happiness, you will be astounded at all the good things that begin to flow towards you.

     Be happy!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Mark 13:13

"13 Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."

     Peer pressure can be daunting at times.  From our first day in school, we want so much to be "liked" by everyone... and to be "like" everyone.  No one wants to stand out or be different.  As a result, we often cave in to peer pressure... going along with what the majority says... or wants... afraid to speak up or speak out.  We look the other way or tell ourselves that "everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't we?"  We pretend we don't care... or that we do...

     Groupthink... another way of saying peer pressure in the work environment... has lead to disasters like the Challenger Space Shuttle explosion.  It has lead to changes in ethics, corporate social responsibility, and management techniques.  Whistleblower laws have been created to protect those who "stand firm to the end" in their convictions for truth and honesty at any cost.

Found on We Heart It

     When we have the courage to speak the truth... to not be swayed by what others think or believe... when we can stand firm to the end... we will be saved.  In the end, we will have only One who will judge us for the choices we made.

     Will you tell Him that you were afraid to speak up?  That you wanted to believe but you wanted to be liked more?  That "everyone else" was a non-believer and you didn't want to be different?

"46 I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness."
~ John 12:46 ~
     Be the light that does not go out.  Stand firm in your convictions and beliefs.  Fight for the truth.

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