Friday, February 24, 2012

Five on Friday... on being grateful and apologizing...

Henry's trick ~ High Fives!
     I've referenced statistics already this week ... and perspectives a few times on both blogs in the past two weeks.  That's not necessarily a good thing.  Perspectives, yes.  Statistics, no.

     I'm trying to find the positives during the week so that my weekend gets off to a good start.  It has been difficult to do that this week, but like statistics ... the numbers are all in how you look at them.

     Today I'm tying together two different blogs that I follow because I don't think that you can be grateful for the blessings in life [Maxabella loves...] without accepting some responsibility for the things that don't necessarily go right [Edenland].  Like Eden [and Toni], I could "ditto" most of the things that they have apologized for.  Been there.  Done that.  Outgrew the t-shirt and had to buy another.
     Like Bron, I am grateful for my Amazon Chick's courage that steps up and shoves me aside at times to put words in my mouth that I need to say but have been too afraid to say... and for the generosity of others when I really need blessings.

Monday ... the car died finally (-1), but at least we didn't use much gas that day (+1) and had everything we needed at the house (+1) and neighbors who didn't mind me using their truck for the one thing I did have to run to the store for (+1).  It was a holiday also, so I didn't have to go to work (+2).
     I'm sorry I didn't get the car fixed months ago when the check engine light came on and it started to sound like a squeezed rabbit.  I'm sorry I'm not willing to put up with the BS at work for another five years, and I'm sorry I moved to Texas for this job.  I'm sorry that I couldn't be the type of friend who continues to let "friends" take advantage of me and because of that we are no longer friends.

Tuesday ... I had to work (-1), but the car was partially fixed (+1).  It did cost a chunk of change (-1) that will force me to rearrange the budget for the week (-1) and not do some things I had needed to do.  But I was able to get it from the mechanic, and it made it home without dying (+1).  A quick diagnostic that my husband did leads us to believe that the additional repairs (new alternator) will not be necessary (+2) so I will find another mechanic and get it looked at again next pay day.
     I'm sorry I don't have a money tree growing in the back yard and all my attempts to pull money out of my butt to pay bills has so far been ineffective.  I'm sorry about wishing I could send with my bills the paper that does hit my butt instead of a check.  I'm sorry I trust people too often and try to believe that everyone is as honest as I am, especially when it comes to car mechanics and car salesmen.

Wednesday ... the car started this morning (+1).  I got paid (+1).  I still have a little money left until next payday (+1).  But I had to work, and David's "other brother" left (-3).  Oh... and I kicked David's butt in Yahtzee (+1).
     I'm sorry that people have judged my husband because of his tattoos and have never taken the time to get to know him and what a gift he has with music, or how hard he struggles to be different from what society expects him to be.  I'm sorry that because you've judged him, you will never know how wonderful this man truly is, or how much he loves me, or how much I love him.  I'm sorry that people who grow up poor and who are judged by society because of that get a raw deal in life. 

Thursday ...the car started again (+1).  Had to work (-1).  Found some fresh mullet at the local Korean market (+1) and had a fish fry with kimchi and rice for dinner (+1).  David showed me a mullet gizzard that doesn't look like the mullet gizzard I've eaten in the past so now I'm wondering what I ate before.  Oh well.  Didn't kill me (+1).
    I'm sorry that I see through the lies management tells in order to make herself look good while making others look bad.  I'm sorry that I can't leave Texas fast enough.  I'm sorry I'm still apprehensive about trying kimchi, but I remember what my Dad said about it when he got back from VietNam and somehow the phrase "in deep kimchi" makes me think of "in deep sh*t" and I just can't tell my mouth it won't taste like that.

Friday ... just the fact that it is Friday should be worth a +4 because tomorrow is the weekend and I won't have to work.  I had an awesome chat with mom last night (+2) and am so grateful for all the times we can talk and laugh (+2).  I know that by the time the day is over, there will be more things to be grateful for (+1 for my positive attitude) so will most likely update this later tonight.
 I'm sorry that so many people are hurt by words and actions, and so many people are hurt because they can't be grateful, or forgiving, or apologizing.  I'm sorry that it appears I have more to be sorry for than to be grateful for... but the truth is...

I am so grateful to be able to forgive and move forward in time, to have friends and family that love me, and to stand on my own two feet in defiance of people who want to control, manipulate, and verbally abuse me.  I'm so grateful to be me, and to never, ever, ever be less than I am to meet any one else's expectations.


  1. I love that you combined two of my favorite blog linky's. I think you are absolutely right, we should be both grateful for what we have and responsible for what we don't do. Grateful and sorry. I love it.

  2. I also think it's good to be grateful what we have. And I love how these blogs make you stop and remember that. Visiting from Maxabellla today :)

  3. Cindi, you are spot on: To be able to forgive and move on. I think that makes so much difference. Eden (love) (LOVE) mentioned on Peggy's blog a truly moving scenario and the crux of it was that we all need to rip down the wallpaper. Rip it down and throw it out and paint over the wall in our favourite colour. Don't hang onto things that only serve to remind us that we are less than perfect and that life sux a big one. Rip it down.

    I am probably not making any sense - but hopefully I will be if you read Peggy and Eden's comment!!!

    I'm so honoured that you combined Grateful and Fresh Horses today. It's a wonderful perspective. x

    1. OMG. So many things to say that cannot be said after I read those two. Yes... rip it down. Always.

    2. Wow - Bron, truly honoured and grateful that you read my comment on Peggy's post and mentioned it here. Thank you SO MUCH for your beautiful words, especially lately. POW straight to my heart.


  4. I love this combination as well, two sides of the same coin.

  5. Bloody brothers. They are weak gutted creatures sometimes. Some woman have amazing loving, supportive bros. Not us, it seems. so... when are you getting out of Texas? Although is it right that Texas is nearly an autonomous state?

    1. It is true that Texas is known as the "Republic of Texas" and is the only state of the United ones that can fly its flag at the same height as the American flag. And if I were to have gotten out of Texas yesterday, it wouldn't have been soon enough... The husband would love to just load up the car, dogs, fill up the boat to haul and hit the road tomorrow... but one of these days soon, Texas will just be dust in the rear view mirror...

  6. So well it...found you at Edens xx

  7. Wow. What a week. Isn't it a shame that family continue to believe that they can yank your chain and treat you disrespectfully. Isn't it a worse shame that they are often right.
    I am so proud, and so happy that you are making a stand. Yes it hurts, but it is the only one you could do with integrity.
    PS Your husband sounds fascinating.

    1. Yes, he is fascinating. He has this gift of being able to sit and listen to a song and then play it on his guitar... or on keyboard. He plays by ear. Doesn't read music. He can play guitar, mandolin, bass guitar, keyboard, piano, drums... it is incredible to listen to him work thru a song he is hearing for the first time and then just play it like he's been playing his whole life. I love listening to him play, especially songs he has written.

  8. I'm hearing you about people judging others on physical stuff (like tattoos) - I just shake my head in disbelief. There is such beauty in every soul if we get past our own judgment! I'm also hearing your pain. So much hurt in families.. I hope there comes healing too. Thanks for sharing with us, Cindi.

  9. Hi Cindi! I just found your blog through Maxabella's grateful linky!

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you approached combining these two blog linky's. Very clever. I hear you re: people judging your husband because of his tattoos. My eldest son has many, and most of them are visible. I have to admit it took me a long while to accept that he likes to have permanent pictures painted on his body (what can I say? he's my baby), and part of the reason for this is I know how judgemental people can be. Although I do find some comfort knowing that in his generation, to NOT have a tattoo is almost the minority.

    I hope this week brings more (+1)s than (-1)s


  10. Cindi, thank you so much for linking up the way you have. I judge people with tattoos all the time ... people with tattoos are AWESOME.

    Love love to you XXX