|Henry's trick ~ High Fives!|
I'm trying to find the positives during the week so that my weekend gets off to a good start. It has been difficult to do that this week, but like statistics ... the numbers are all in how you look at them.
Today I'm tying together two different blogs that I follow because I don't think that you can be grateful for the blessings in life [Maxabella loves...] without accepting some responsibility for the things that don't necessarily go right [Edenland]. Like Eden [and Toni], I could "ditto" most of the things that they have apologized for. Been there. Done that. Outgrew the t-shirt and had to buy another.
Like Bron, I am grateful for my Amazon Chick's courage that steps up and shoves me aside at times to put words in my mouth that I need to say but have been too afraid to say... and for the generosity of others when I really need blessings.
Monday ... the car died finally (-1), but at least we didn't use much gas that day (+1) and had everything we needed at the house (+1) and neighbors who didn't mind me using their truck for the one thing I did have to run to the store for (+1). It was a holiday also, so I didn't have to go to work (+2).
I'm sorry I didn't get the car fixed months ago when the check engine light came on and it started to sound like a squeezed rabbit. I'm sorry I'm not willing to put up with the BS at work for another five years, and I'm sorry I moved to Texas for this job. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the type of friend who continues to let "friends" take advantage of me and because of that we are no longer friends.
Tuesday ... I had to work (-1), but the car was partially fixed (+1). It did cost a chunk of change (-1) that will force me to rearrange the budget for the week (-1) and not do some things I had needed to do. But I was able to get it from the mechanic, and it made it home without dying (+1). A quick diagnostic that my husband did leads us to believe that the additional repairs (new alternator) will not be necessary (+2) so I will find another mechanic and get it looked at again next pay day.
I'm sorry I don't have a money tree growing in the back yard and all my attempts to pull money out of my butt to pay bills has so far been ineffective. I'm sorry about wishing I could send with my bills the paper that does hit my butt instead of a check. I'm sorry I trust people too often and try to believe that everyone is as honest as I am, especially when it comes to car mechanics and car salesmen.
Wednesday ... the car started this morning (+1). I got paid (+1). I still have a little money left until next payday (+1). But I had to work, and David's "other brother" left (-3). Oh... and I kicked David's butt in Yahtzee (+1).
I'm sorry that people have judged my husband because of his tattoos and have never taken the time to get to know him and what a gift he has with music, or how hard he struggles to be different from what society expects him to be. I'm sorry that because you've judged him, you will never know how wonderful this man truly is, or how much he loves me, or how much I love him. I'm sorry that people who grow up poor and who are judged by society because of that get a raw deal in life.
Thursday ...the car started again (+1). Had to work (-1). Found some fresh mullet at the local Korean market (+1) and had a fish fry with kimchi and rice for dinner (+1). David showed me a mullet gizzard that doesn't look like the mullet gizzard I've eaten in the past so now I'm wondering what I ate before. Oh well. Didn't kill me (+1).
I'm sorry that I see through the lies management tells in order to make herself look good while making others look bad. I'm sorry that I can't leave Texas fast enough. I'm sorry I'm still apprehensive about trying kimchi, but I remember what my Dad said about it when he got back from VietNam and somehow the phrase "in deep kimchi" makes me think of "in deep sh*t" and I just can't tell my mouth it won't taste like that.
Friday ... just the fact that it is Friday should be worth a +4 because tomorrow is the weekend and I won't have to work. I had an awesome chat with mom last night (+2) and am so grateful for all the times we can talk and laugh (+2). I know that by the time the day is over, there will be more things to be grateful for (+1 for my positive attitude) so will most likely update this later tonight.
I'm sorry that so many people are hurt by words and actions, and so many people are hurt because they can't be grateful, or forgiving, or apologizing. I'm sorry that it appears I have more to be sorry for than to be grateful for... but the truth is...
I am so grateful to be able to forgive and move forward in time, to have friends and family that love me, and to stand on my own two feet in defiance of people who want to control, manipulate, and verbally abuse me. I'm so grateful to be me, and to never, ever, ever be less than I am to meet any one else's expectations.