Monday... last Friday's news about the results of my 2nd biopsy weighed on me all weekend, so Monday I did some research. My diagnosis, while discouraging and worrisome, is early enough to be treatable.
My husband and I have been married for just over a year (Nov 2010). I truly love having this remarkable man in my life to lean on during days like these. I'm trying to act all brave but am really a terrified little girl inside.
I've been praying a lot since Friday, talking to my Guardian Angel, the Ministry of Angels, and the Archangels. In spite of my fear, I have a sense of sureness that everything will turn out okay, and I think that it is all the Angels that I've been calling to me. I've always believed that when I hear wind or bell chimes that there are angels ringing them. Especially the clang an old copper bell that used to hang by my father's front door. It is the heaviest of all the chimes and bells in my yard, but the one that always sounds even when there is no breeze. It has been ringing a lot this evening.
Tuesday... a day off from work to deal with some other appointments, I let the stress of the weekend build to an uncomfortable level for much of the day. But an anticipated bill for almost $600 turned out to be just $5 which was adjusted off the account, and two others turned out to be already paid off.
This man I married, has the patience of Job when my frustration surfaces at the events in our lives. He holds me when it all boils over into tears, and reminds me how much I love him, and how much I love being in his arms.
That $600 bill I was so worried about... apparently "someone" paid it off. They said it was me, but I can't remember doing it, and know that I didn't have the funds. Otherwise, why would I have been so worried about it for so long? I secretly think that it was one of the angels in my life... but not sure how they knew. I have no other explanation. As I'm trying to figure out a budget for the next few months that will allow me to catch up on everything and leave Texas relatively solvent... I hear that copper bell ring and step outside to enjoy the setting sun. There is no breeze, but I see the clapper on the bell gently moving in the wind... as if doing a royal hand wave to me... and I smile.
Thursday... The first day of a new month and I am claiming this to be the month I get a job offer with relocation to Florida or somewhere in the southeast. Beautiful spring blossoms on a tree I see every day on the way to work, and the sun was up enough this morning to give me a beautiful, hazy glow in the sky. I love when I can look the sun in the eye full on without needing to squint, even with sunglasses.
He worries about me. I've never had someone try to hard to make sure I'm happy and taken care of... never had someone who puts my needs first... who listens to what I need. When sometimes all I need is to have someone listen.
The breeze tonight had all of the other wind chimes in the front and back yards sounding out their music... except for Dad's bell. I watched as they all moved in the wind, but that one stayed still. Until just as I was about to go into the house for the night, I heard it clang in the darkness. Just five times, then it was silent again. "Good night. I love you." ... I miss you too, Dad. Miss you too.
Friday... I've not worn this denim jacket since last week, I think. Yet just moments ago when I put my hand in the left pocket to see what was feeling bulky, I found three mini Reese's Peanut Butter cups. Three of them. From who knows when. Except I know that if I had put them there... they wouldn't be there now. I'd have eaten them just moments after sneaking off with them from someones candy stash at work.
He left everything for me, this man that I married. Took a chance on true love and found it. Travelled from all that was familiar to him, farther away from his kids than he'd ever been before... all for love. All for me. I've never had anyone do that before... who wanted to be with me so much... and I love him all the more for it.
My Guardian Angel must love peanut butter cups as much as I do. Finding these in my pocket this morning is like putting on a jacket from last winter, or swapping out purses for the seasons, and finding a twenty-dollar bill in it. Winning! I also believe that my angels visit with the scent of roses since there are times when the perfume of roses is overpowering when there is no explanation for it. This morning at my desk... there was the smell of roses... and none to be seen and no one near me using anything scented. It's going to be a good weekend... and an even better month.