But I can't.
I found this card while I was packing away some things in the office. I remember quite well when I bought it because I bought every single one the store had since I was planning on sending them out for "an occasion."
On the inside of them is printed "Life's too short to be subtle." in a rainbow of colors that was too difficult to see here.
They were musical cards, and of the six that I bought, only this one still worked. It plays the first line of this song:
I was buying them to celebrate a divorce from a former husband, but apparently packed them away when my father went into the hospital a few days before my divorce was final, and it just seemed inappropriate to send them.
To be honest, it is probably inappropriate for me to use it now in the way that I want... but it is just so tempting. I would love to use it on my last day of work, to put my access badges into it and turn it over to my boss as I head out the door.
I would probably never be able to work for the Army again (*enter sarcasm here* Oh, what a great loss that would be!), and if I ever did work for the government, I would probably have to attend more than one sexual harassment course and sign all kinds of waivers saying I would never, ever have a sense of humor again.
Considering all that... I think it just might be worth it.