Friday, June 8, 2012

Pick your battles...

"You'll provide what a person needs most: an understanding heart and maybe a hand to hold, too. This you'll do without cause or motive other than to release the compassion inside you. 
Pick your battles. Only go to the mat on important matters."

     I wish I had read this on Thursday when I needed it most.  Sometimes my horoscope is like that.  Day late.  Dollar short.  Most of the time I don't read my horoscope until late in the day or the next, just to see if they were close to being accurate.  It's a roll of the dice most of the time, and just like statistics, it all depends on what you want to hear... or know.  Interpretation is in the mind of the reader.  

     Yesterday I took actions based on what someone told me was 'their' truth.  Because I wasn't in the room when events occurred and only heard their side of the equation.  Their side of the bell curve.  I made choices that in retrospect... I see now how I was manipulated into believing they were telling the truth.  Because I couldn't imagine someone lying to me... about that or anything else.  I didn't grow up in a world where lies were a way of life.  Where deceit and manipulation were normal.

     I feel now like I grew up in a bubble.  Maybe even on another planet.

     I don't want to change who I am... or what I believe... but feel now that I don't have a choice.  I don't want to live a life of paranoia, being suspicious and distrusting.... but feel now that I don't have a choice.  Because I don't know anymore what is the truth and what is a lie.  I don't know which way is up... or down... east... or west... north... or south.  I don't know.

     I don't know why someone would do something like that to me when all I've done is tried to help them.  When all I did was welcome them with open arms.

     But they did.  And it hurts.  And it has changed me whether I like it or not.

     It has changed me.

1 comment:

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