Thursday, February 20, 2020

TbT ~ Hitting Bottom

I've been procrastinating this post for a good 24 hours now.  Not because I was trying to figure out how to make it sound perfect, but because I was trying to figure out which direction I wanted to go in from last week's post.  It would be so much easier to tell you where I am now in my life and give you a quick Cliff Notes version of how I got here.  But that wouldn't be completely honest, and sometimes the reason our journeys are so painful is so when we share them with others, they might be able to relate to the struggle.

How many times do we feel all alone in our lives, especially at times of great challenges?  How many times do we think that we are the only ones who have been through this?  That we are the only ones who feel like this?  We isolate ourselves because we think that no one else will understand, and we isolate ourselves because we feel shame about where we are, and how bad things have gotten.  We are embarrassed and afraid that we will be judged or condemned for our choices or our mistakes.

There will be people who do judge and condemn us because they think they are perfect and better than us.  They will believe that they would have made different choices, and maybe they might have.  But maybe they wouldn't.   We never know how we will face the storm until after it has passed.
It is when we hit bottom that we find out who we really are, and Who is always with us.  There is nothing in life that He has not already faced for us.  Nothing that He does not understand.  No choice we make that He will not walk through with us, or forgive us for.

My bottom came with joblessness, car repossession, fear of foreclosure eviction, anger, hunger, a cancer scare, loss of a cherished pet, walking miles to look for work, depression, being shunned by family and friends, lies, manipulation, shame, and embarrassment.

This is what I learned when I hit bottom...
  • I thought I was alone, but I wasn't. 
  • I thought I had nothing to live for, but I was wrong.  
  • I thought the hurt would never stop, but I healed. 
  • I thought that things would never get better, but they did.  
  • I thought that I could never forgive, and then I realized how much I had been forgiven. 
  • I thought that I could never love, and then I realized how much I was loved.
I was loved and forgiven before I was ever born for sins I never imagine I would do.   The moment I realized that was the moment my life changed forever.   Not just my life changed, but my marriage changed, and my husband changed.  Once I surrendered everything ... I was given everything and more than I ever imagined I would have.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing your inspiring and hope filled story!


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